When I graduated from college, I really didn’t know what to do.  (Oh really?).  It was pretty obvious that  I had to look for a job and start getting used to corporate America, but before I delve into that lifestyle, I wanted something special….maybe memorable.

I just made a lot of trips back and forth from my town Weston to Gainesville, because I thought I would have a better chance of getting a job if I apply in college town.  My trips were pretty frequent, because if I did get an interview, it happened to be in Gainesville.  I ended up staying up at Michael’s place, where I was able to feel like home with their hospitality. 

And because if this, I spent a lot of money on gas.  I did not worry about it because as soon as I found a job, I would not have to spend this much money on gas.  But something happened.  I couldn’t say it was exactly bad, or good, but something really special. 

I still remember how it happened.  I had to go up to Gainesville for interviews and Michael couldn’t let me stay at his place for the first few days in Gainesville.  So I ended up staying at another friend’s place until I was move into Michael’s place. 

But like I said, something happened…with another friend’s roommate…

because of this, I didn’t end up in Michael’s place for the whole time I stayed in Gainesville. 

It is really weird.  The feelings that I have for her.  I can’t explain it.  Even as I am writing this, my head is in a state of chaos just trying to explain what my feelings towards her is.  It is just there.  If I ‘m there with her I’m happy, and if I am not, I feel so devastated.  No reasons…I just feel it.

I feel like the richest man on earth when she is next to me, but when she is taken away from me, I am the poorest.  I try so hard not to think about her, but that is so hard that I just let her consume my mind. 

What really pisses me off is that we are bound to part in the near future…I mean real near future.  And people say that we could always keep in touch and all that, but when you are half a world across away, what am I suppose to do?

I let this thinking kill me for about a few days and I just realized, I should enjoy this moment when I can.  If I really wanted to see her, fuck it.  Drive 5 hours just to see her, because in the near future, I could only hear her voice at the best, and just chat with her. 

Until she leaves, I trying to spend every second with her.  I don’t want to think about how sad I am going to be when she leaves, but I want to think about how much time I can enjoy with her so I won’t lament it in the future…because after all….time is flying….even now.

a question that I get once in while.  YEAH. really..once in a while..no wonder I get these questions.  I even sometimes get some advertisements saying that “We’ll boost your confidence! here’s how!”.  Literally, people are paying to loose weight, and now paying just to enjoy one of the biggest pleasures in human race?  Come on United States…you can do better.

So before you roll your eyes, and scroll your mouse to prepare to go to another site, let me clarify something that those “make your SEE-OHH-SEE-KAY BIGGER!” ads don’t.   IT IS NOT THE SIZE.  Want to read that again? IT’S NOT THE DAMN SIZE.

“You must be joking right?”

No. I’m not joking.  I’m dead serious.

“Man, I thought that Asian chick was a guy..she had no b00bs!”

Now that IS a joke.  Helluva mean, but funny joke.  But let’s cut this crap and get serious.  Guys talk about their sizes, and basically that is their manhood.  The bigger it is, the manly they are in the realm of men.  Or that is what they think.  Guess what?  Women have the same problem.  But for them, it is mainly the b00bs.  Women think guys like big tits, and men think women like thick s@us@ges.  I try to tell both men and women it is not that, but they just refuse to believe those things.

Have you heard of the quote “it is not the size, but the wave that matters.” ?  People who do say that truly mean that, whether they are men or women.  For the people who do not (aka girls who likes big s@us@ages and men who think they could please women by their size just like in the porn they saw in middle school when mommy was at work) , you poor, poor, poor thing.  Looks like God has jinxed you into thinking that you need something “big” to please your partner than finding the right “spots”.  I’ll try to understand you minions as best as possible with my utmost sympathy.

Honestly, why would you want big, rock hard fake b00bs, when you can get those small, nice, soft b00bs?  I would take the latter over former any other day.  I would rather have a average looking woman who actually enjoys what is being done to her, and returns the favor.  I would not want a women who will be complaining about sizes.  That woman don’t even deserve to go down on me anyways. The point is, for men and women, your s@us@ges and your b00bs are not as small as you think it would be.  It’s because you let the society judge you by stereotypes.

Plus, there are plenty of other things that matter besides those “two” things.  I’ll let you decide on the plus alpha factors, because even for me, who am I to judge, right?

Yeah. Those stuff are great. It makes communication a lot easier and besides, who the hell wants to reach out for the phone when they can just write something the wall on Facebook, right? Plus I will admit that I really have a hard time trying to communicate with everybody on the phone, and wish I could just go through my friends in facebook and post the same message. You know…copy and paste. (I’ve done this before, with a poem, and even that took me 50 minutes.)

However, there are so many gadgets on facebooks that it is not even funny. Tagging photos, wall posts, and private messages are great….but actually telling who did what, who wrote on who’s wall, …that is just too much and going over the control limits.

“So just ignore it….at least facebook easily lets us keep in touch with some of the friends that are far away..”…..EXACTLY MY POINT. You see that word “easily” there?

In a world where so many people are materialistically enriched and not to mention, a lot of young immature people who thinks the world revolves around them, the last thing that we need is another way of communication that lacks “feelings”. If it’s this easy, many people will take relationships for granted.

Why not just give them a call and hear their voice once in a while? At least write them an email of how your life is doing? Because if you really do care about that people, it is definitely worth more than a few click of the mouse and punches of the keyboard.

it’s about time that I cut my hair right?  I did get some “not-so-good” remarks from some damn conservative people – but some of their criticism were true.  I definitely agree with the fact that I am going to cut my hair for a job; and that time is now.

I did get good remarks from people that my hair was really nice (especially gals. lol) but I did have some unpleasant incidents, other than that of conservative people.

Me and my sister went to Aventura Mall, and we went to this store….the salesperson did not realize that I was a guy from the back so, she asked “how are you ladies…..” and then I turned around, and she was surprised..and found out that she just made a mistake…..and “….and…um…gentlemen doing?”

This happened a BUNCH of times…

Well guess it won’t happen to me anymore, since I will cut my hair..

At least, I won’t used so much shampoo and conditioner, and take longer showers…

A lot of friends that are girls are like “Yeah~~ it’s so great, but I don’t see the reason..”

Well yeah…going to the theaters to watch the movie 3 times is a bit overdoing it…but…for me, it is kind of like Sex and the City, and I bet ladies would understand some guys dressing like Joker Thugs for The Dark Knight, if they had dressed up to watch the movie Sex and the City.

Batman.  I have to say it is my favorite DC Comics hero…he is different from all the other heroes.  For the fact that it is down to the world, and technically, all the things that he does is feasible, if you have shitload of assets.  All the previous Batman movies were pretty disappointing, because they did not actually portrayed Bruce Wayne’s life pretty well.  Batman (1989) and Batman Returns were okay, but the ones that came out afterwards, it was a complete disaster.  It never focused on what Batman really was.

Although my opinions of Batman movies done by Christopher Nolan could be a bit biased because I like Christian Bale, it is hard to deny that Batman Begins and The Dark Knight was so far the epitomy of reviving Batman of his true self.  It is so hard to find movies like this, because most of the superhero movies are not as sophisticated as The Dark Knight.

Some people claim that the movie was too long, but I did not realize any of that because I was so focused into the structure of the movie.  The smallest details contributed to the structure….even the characters..

The scariest part of the movie was when the Joker was talking with Batman face to face….I still remember when the Joker says to Batman “You COMPLETE me”….and that just scared the shit out of me.  Because that statement is so true.  Batman and Joker; they are both freaks.  One thinks he could save the city on his own, and the other, just does whatever he wants to do.  But Batman is a freak in a good way, and Joker is the freak in the other way.  Because they are pretty much the same guy, and yet at the same time, were on their extremes of beliefs, Joker was able to arouse better than any other character in the movie.  Although the Joker Screwed up Harvey Dent really well, the mental torture that Batman had to deal with was insurmountable.  That was the beauty of it.  This portrayed exactly how the Batman was actually suffering, and made the audience realize that he was too, just a human.

Who knows?  If Alfred had given the letter to Bruce Wayne, and let him read it to find out that Rachel had acutally chosen Harvey, he too could have become a villan like two-face.  Bruce so firmly believed that Rachel would choose him.  But if had read that letter to find out she had gone to Harvey, that impact would be as great as Harvey losing Rachel, and a higher possibility of becoming the villan.

It is true that Harvey could be the outcome of Batman if he was corrupted, but that’s just a result.
(Me and my friend Mike had a huge discussion on this, whether the Joker or Two-face was close to Batman, and Mike had mentioned this)

Joker is just too much connected to Batman, and vice versa, that they just can’t kill themselves.

The biggest difference between two of them despite the common traits, is that Batman is incorruptable due to his “kindness”.  Even the Joker acknowledged that…

So….how many “Batmans” are in your society?

I just realized that my working days at the lab are over…..and then I also realized…no shit…you are graduating….(DUH~)..

oh yeah…another one of those days where I pack my stuff, and go to a new environment.  It not that bad..really..if you have done it shitload of times in your life.  Actually it’s kinda good in a way that you get to meet all the people that you haven’t seen and you have those wishy washy moments where everybody say “I’ll miss you~” “Keep in touch~~”.  Yeah..that’s the best part.  The scariest part is where how many of those people actually keep it touch; no, I’m not criticizing, I’m saying that just scares the shit out of me.

But….this wasn’t the point….ah…where were we? AH! My workplace..the lab…there were about 5??
Ryan, Michael, Carla, Raluca…and my boss, Judy..

Ryan graduated past Spring, but…his impression was so strong.  At first, I thought he was a pre-med just by his appearances; never thought that he was a English major.  But that did not matter.  We ended up having really, I mean really interesting conversation with him.  It’s just that I think it is a bit risky to expose the details in this blog…that’s always my opinion though…

And…Mike……..his nice silky long hair…….hrm..but the moment I remember with him is when we saw this gorgeous girl go out of the lab.  Now, this was no ordinary gorgeous girl.  What made this girl stand out was that as she walked out of the lab, she said….”Oh yeah….Chaucer changed my life.”  and then she went away…and me and Mike to this day, agree that she is one of best girls.  You can always overlook a beautiful girl….but beauty and Chaucer?  You can’t beat that.

and then to the ladies…..Raluca!…nice exotic, Romanian lady. (Heh~ heh~ heh~)  I just can’t help thinking about the day when she first played Mario 64.  It took her like 30 minutes to get the first star of the game.  This was so funny…..I ended up writing about 2~3 full pages in my journal about that incident…..but yah..she really gave me a good laugh…

…hrm…ah! and yes, Carla! the girl from Nicaragua, with a “ronca” voice.  Oh man she has a sexy voice.  Talking on the phone with her is even better; sexy & LUSTFUL.  Unlike her naughty voice, I think she’s really unique person.  I mean in a good way. .  We had this conversation about women, and she talked about men.  I took it very seriously, ( I don’t know if she did), but she was one of the few girls who actually listened to my opinons about girls, rather than being a bitch about it like some other immature ones.  I really enjoyed that conversation though…too bad we did not have that many..

..and last but not least…my boss Judy! …will always miss the 500mg Vitamin Cs she bought for all of us, and the hospitality she provided….

Sigh…yah….I’m gonna miss this place………..well except for the air conditioner.

No matter how hard I try, it is impossible to maintain a profound relationship with every single person I meet…but I want to….even though people come and go…I don’t want them to…but life does not work that way…

So, the least thing I could do is to slowly reveal myself, of who I truly am, in a place where everybody…whom I consider them important could see me how I am doing.

Egocentric? Begging for attention? Both yes and no to that question. As much as I want attention from the people whom I love and cherish, I do not want attention from any other people who doesn’t know me. I am running the risk…just to let the people I love and cherish know how I am doing….and at the same time, I take this opportunity to find the traits that I never thought I had before, and finding ratification to the many dichotomies that creates me as a whole – me. Bum Soo Kim.

These are my thoughts, and it will stay in this public domain as long as I exist.